300th post

its my last ful day of study

tmrow im only gona study if i can giv a crap nemore

likebeen about avg of 5+ hrs of study a day 4 the last wk.

and here i am widout much rly aded in2 my brain

=="

i duno wats hapening 2 me

but i feel like raging

i feel like raging coz i wana burn this eco txt book in front of me, even thoe i stil hav 2 study it nxt yr and do the test on thurs

i feel like raging coz i needa go shower but im not done wid eco, and 1ce im done showering i wana can of fanta + dota til i slp.

eco is my least fav subject.

i feel like raging coz i dun think ive done enuf maths yet i literaly feel sik if i look at it agen

i feel like raging coz i came jus about perfectly dead smak mid avg 4 maths. thats not normal.

i feel like raging coz both eco and maths is on the same day and il b screaming about both of them on the same day.

i feel like raging coz i dun need maths or eco in my future, yet im trying my hardest in both, jus ccoz i cannot put my lazy effort in

i feel like raging coz theres nothign 2 study 4 art and thats the only subject that matrs 2 me in the entire world.

i feel like raging coz my art exam is tmrow and im such rage mood rite now im hopeing on evry star that i would b sane thruout it tmrow.

i feel like raging coz dady doesnt think my interest in art wil make me hapy.

i feel liek raging coz even wen i lie and say i want 2 do design as my future, no1 is hapy.

i feel like raging coz wat i love wil b my future and not urs, and neithr is my future income lvl.

i feel like raging coz this life is mine.. and so u should jus let me b.

i feel like raging coz i shouldnt b raging at al since im supose ur typical studious kid that pushes herself in subjects she absolutely h8s czo she wants that succesful lawyer job or masters degree in the future. but im not. and i would absolutely h8 2 hav eithr.

i feel like raging coz even if i end up bing a poor painter that only sels enuf paintings a yr 4 a mere living,

THATS SUCCESS 2 ME,

yet its about 1 in a milion that would not b disgustd wid me and b hapy 4 my socially unacepted decision.

i feel like raging coz im not emotionaly strong enuf 2 push away those, that r disgustd wid my opinion, from myself.

i feel like raging coz im trying rly hard in wat i h8 and 4 sum dumb reason i kp trying even wen i noe it wont take me newhere.