My worst fear
is being just like

everyone else.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

its exactly 11.58 and fireworks r blasting outside
lol

kinda sad 2 jus b siting in front of a comp doing awt i do evry nite

and this is gona b my 1st post for 2010


alice asked wat was the interesting part of her blog and i ended up going thru her posts and colecting her pics

i cam e acros a post that i havent read and i decided 2 do wat shes done, here it is:

1. PICK OUT A SCAR YOU HAVE, AND EXPLAIN HOW YOU GOT IT?


the one that is most obvious as a scar is a spot on my stomach that looks like melted skin over my normal stomach.

sum1 slamed a door on me and i got caught between the corner of the table and the slamed door.

and wen it healed, it jus healed like that.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?

posters, fotos, my artworks, maths revision, audition arows, and jewelery. my wals r plastered.

and on my roof is glow in the dark stars and a poster.

and on my lite's shade is a mario bandana, dogs, racing ribons and an origami star 0.0"


3. WHAT DOES YOUR PHONE LOOK LIKE?
samsung f250

plastered in stikers.

at least 10 fone charms.

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?

almsot evrything.

i rly dun like: screamoes and country country musiq.

the songs that interest me 4 the longest is soul.


5. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE?
the same as my blog bakg. me wid my feet in the water at a beach.


7. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GAY MARRIAGE?

hav nothing against it.

8. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?

11pm ish. l8 at nite.

9. ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL TOGETHER?
yea

10. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?

adore you - lil rain

11. DO YOU GET SCARED OF THE DARK?

my mom used 2 tel me this story where we slept in diff rms and at like midnite, she heard my nappy and she saw me crawling thru the dark past her rm.

and alice, i used 2 slp wid the door open purposely coz mom would come in knoking and it'l wake me up. if the door was open, then shed realise lol.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?

dun remmeba

13. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOUR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
mmm.. doesnt matr 2 me, rly.

14. DO YOU LIKE PAINKILLERS?
not rly. 2 much destorys ur body.

15. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
no coffee plz. and im alrite wid energy drinks. *remembas 4mal*

17. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

its new yrs and the house out the bak is chuking a masive party. i smel griled chikn. i want sum.

18. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?

mom, haha. it'l most liekly always b my mom.

19. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?
canto and kinda mando

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST GIFT SOMEONE GAVE YOU?

xmas jus ended,il jus say my giant baby elmo 2 make it easy.

21. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?
im not answering this one

22. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
no, but my elbow loks in place sumtimes and i cant bend it bak. wats that caled?

23. FAVOURITE FRIEND?
huh?

24. WHAT’S YOUR DREAM CAR?

big comfy car. jeep. i dun look like a jeep driver hey ? haha

25. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTER-LIFE?
no idea.

26. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MARRIAGE?
its wonderful thing, but i think its under-taken, the r8s ppl divorcing. u should mary once, and once thats it.

27. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
cant rly choose who u fal in love wid.

and i would try my best not 2 , in taht situation

28. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?

jus tel them.

29. SAY A NUMBER FROM 1-100.
69

30. BLONDE OR BRUNETTE?
shrugs

31. WHAT IS THE ONE PHONE NUMBER THAT SHOWS UP ON YOUR PHONE THE MOST?
dear alice: LOL! i show up on ur fone THE MOST?!

wow tahts scary

mine would b dady, he cals me almost evryday jus 2 make sure ive eaten et cetera.

32. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?

my mom. compared 2 her, there is no1 else more anoying.

othr than that, it'l b not enuf money on a shoping trip and not finding sum1 teasing u very funy.

33. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR BIRTH COUNTRY?
china.

34. YOUR WEAKNESS?

im physicaly weak? 0.0" ..

okok, althoe i tel evry1 im tank, no1 believes me.

and im glad.

coz im actulay not tank.

and fish . since white died, i cant eat fish. iduno, i look at it, feel kidna grossed like a horror movie and i cant eat it. cant even imagine eating it nemore.

35. WHAT WAS THE LAST GIFT YOU GAVE?
dun rememba. haha

36. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE HOLIDAY?

dont think i hav one. jus one wid val and the city i gues.

37. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?

nah. dun find them very interesting.

38. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE THIS?

tryna 3 way webcam wid alice and wiliam on videoconference.com

my mic didnt work, alices cam didnt work. lmao.

39. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
would taller b one?

if not then stronger legs, althoe i duno how u would do that.

if not then im not interested, jus gime the money.

40. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
my art. thats coz ur at skool wid lots of ppl.

my mom h8s me doing art, and i h8 her so she doesnt rly matr.

body-wise would b my hands wen i was young and my figure nowadays. idun get it, i dun think i hav a figure.

and no simon, ur not the only one whos said it ._.

43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
shrugs. i dun care, dun wana touch that stuf.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
dear alice: i came home one day and my bed was a double. i thought i walked in2 the rong rm.

lol.

and 4 my bday i would like ...

a piano.

a real full size grand piano.

45. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

yea. a random in my bros skool fotos, bak in his days.

my mom liked lina, my bro said she was ugly so they changed it 2 lena. (pronounced len-nah)

but evry1 jus says lena so i jus go along wid it. and yes u can cal me by my real names pronounciation now that ive spiled the beans if u wish.

len-nah

46. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
yes.

48. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVOURITE?

midle finger. not that it could hav a strong simple meaning by stiking it up by itself, but coz its the longest and sum ppl can reach an octave wid the thumb and midle finger. tahts amzing.

rly amazing.

49. WHAT WAS YOUR LAST DRINK?
soya bean milk/drink.

im allergic 2 dairy, althoe i stil eat/dirnk it.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
i dun hav one, i rite different al the time.

also coz i rite wid both hands. in al my books.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE VEGETABLE?
i h8 eggplant.

i want 2 clear that up.

i eat eggplant i unvoluntarily vomit it bak up.

literaly.

and my fav would b ... lettuce. coz it goes so wel wid so many things.

and corn+butter+salt. thats delicious.

52. ANY BAD HABITS?

i crak my fingers b4 i play piano sumtimes.

i cant think of nething else.

53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
my preogrative-britney spears single.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

proly not. i dun c how i make a good friend ._.

55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
not that i rememba.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
its 3rd on my wat-2-look-4-in-a-guy list, so yea,

also note that liking a guys personality may leads 2 liking their looks 2.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE YOUR ANGER?

i rage at sum1 else over the keyboard on msn, if the person rly pist me off that bad.

and..

oh,

like if i was pist at mom

and mom said rememba 2 colect the laundry

il make sure i "dun rememba" at all.

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
i dun hav one 0.0" .. my family in china?

59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
yea, but il always b expecting 4 them 2 fail. wont trust them if im afraid they'l fail.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE TOY WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE?
from alice: "swirly, my pink snail (:

i still have her, but shes dirty now

><"


i rememba swirly. does swirly rememba walrus? haha.

and mine is goldie. i stil hug her 2 slp evrynite.

61. ARE YOU AFRAID OF GROWING UP?
no. i h8ed my childhood. mainly coz i was forced 2 tutor like after skool til 8pm and chinese skool and a whole day of tutor on wkend.

i h8ed the way adults teased u jus coz u were a kid and "ul understand wen u grow up". i had no respect 4 those ppl, and i stil dun.

il ignore them completely and if im pist enuf, il snap at them, talk bak 2 them wid watevr i feel like.

i h8ed the way they would scream at u in words that they noe u havent learnt and then throw u down and smak u until ur bauling 4 them 2 stop, and in the end, nevr understand wat u evr did rong in the 1st place.

and i h8ed the way ppl nevr xplained things 2 u, even thoe u asked, jus coz ur a kid and they dun think ul understand.

i h8ed the way adults nevr cared about wat u said, even thoe u were corect. on top of that, i used 2 cough and lose my voice alot wen i was young so wen i said sumtin, i meant it.

i h8 the way they tel u off 4 things they do themselves. hypocrites.

i h8 the way they tel u off 4 teling them off.

i h8 the way u drop a pl8 2 giv them the msg that u want them 2 shut the hel up, but instead they scream at u even louder 4 breaking the pl8.

i h8 the way how u ask "mom, can u pas the soy sauce" at the dinr table and she tels u off coz ur supose 2 b working the hardest/youngest and so u hav 2 climb around the whole table wen ur mom coulda jus handed it 2 u in les than 2 seconds.

i h8 the way how if i got 100% in a test, it didnt matr, coz i havent done it 100 times in a row.

i h8 the way they forced food in2 u. stufing enuf food 4 5 ppl in my lunchbox only ends up in the bin, mom. and yes im gona say i 8 it or ur gona tel me off.

i h8 how i was nevr alowed 2 hav my hair logn in primary, and my mom would alawys cut it. it wasnt until i hit hi skool that i finaly won that stupid fite. its jus hair. and its not even hers.

i h8 the way al moms (ands dads) scream stuf like "i wish i nevr raised u" or "ul nevr b strong enuf 2 suport urself " at their kids. jus shut the hel up, ur the stupid reason they feel like suiciding evryday.

wow thats a long answer ._.

and here i am 2day. sry mom, ur thousands of dollars on my tutoring since yr 1 on about at least 10 diff tutoring places hasnt goten me newhere 2day. im not gona b the doctor or business owner that u once wished 4.

i love art and thats al i can do, so get lost ._.

NO. i am NOT afraid of growing up.

62. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
of course not. *sarcasm*

63. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS?
no. and thats my final answer.

64. DOES 11:11 MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
yea. make a wish =)

66. DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?
tbh, me and mom hav proly ploted on kiling each othr many times. at least i hav.

obviously i nevr did it.

and dadys fine, dady actualy cs me as a real living person that has feelings and the rite 4 a say on things taht concern me.

67. WHAT IS THE MOST PAIN YOU HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED?
heartache.

heartaches hav eras, and im not gona say wich one.

68. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
sum. chuks=must

69. LAST THING YOU SPILLED?

ramen flavouring

70. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?
4 tropical fish

71. WHAT IS THE LAST FURRY THING YOU TOUCHED?
gloomy

72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE COLOURS
blue.

and then it'l b a mix betwen purple, white, green, aqua et cetera.

but definitely blue.

73. WHAT’S THE LAST BOOK YOU READ?
kill the possum, 4got by who

I HILY RECOMEND IT

74. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
both, not fuly grown yet thoe.

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
i gues?

76. WHAT’S YOUR DREAM VACATION?
japan, china wid family+friends

77. LAST THING YOU ATE/DRANK?
dream choc

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
selina LOL. she caled 2 say hapy new yr.

79. WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
hair/face (these r EQUAL)

then body

im sry, the body counts (4 me) @_@"

81. FAVOURITE THING TO HATE?
iuno 0.0"..

82. FAVOURITE DRINK?
uh coke.

i used 2 b adicted.

but its easier now, coz my famiily buys les coke.

83. FAVOURITE ZODIAC SIGN?
obviously wat i am? gemini.

84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SPORT?

ice sk8ing.

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOUR?
blak. and no, it doesnt not look brown in the sun.

its jus ditch blak, nevr changed ._.

86. EYE COLOUR?
brown brown. not dark or lite.

87. TALL OR SHORT?
short. by miles.

88. SIBLINGS?
older bro. his jus like anothr person taking up space in this house. and since we're over 10 yrs apart, im gr8ful 4 the space.

althoe ive felt lonely as a kid sumtimes and wished 4 sum1 2 come play tea party or snap wid me ._.

89. FAVOURITE MONTH?
i dun rly hav one.

90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
love it

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
utube vid : lily allen - not fair

92. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR?

would hav 2 b my bday.

93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
from alice: "its not really shyness…

ok maybe it is ^^’

idk ive ill ever be brave enough to do something like that."

ive nevr done it. unles its like "HEY ALICE! the thing movie is coming out tmrow, wana go wach it?" kinda thing.

and grls shouldnt exactly b doing the asking.

94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
summer

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
relationships, ... by FAR.

97. WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
from alice: "LENA (x), YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO."

haha shes 100% rite. cept i read it about 50 days l8.

and iduno, not many ppl read my blog. mayb anna.

98. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?

mmm... stereotypical nerdy game-addict boys.

99. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
nah, and yes im sure of it lol.

100. BIGGEST FEAR(S)?

from alice: "im scared of heaps of things.

probably being blind/deaf/unable to talk.

but i cant go near fire, matches, scary/gross looking insects, bl0od (sometimes), the dark (sometimes)…"

u 4got sharp things, alice.

i would definitely b afraid of bing blind (art?) or deaf (musiq?). not so much unable 2 talk.

im not afraid of fire, matches, blood, the dark, or sharp things.

and i am terified of insects, especialy dead ones.

thats 1st on my list:

1. dead insects.

2. walking thru places that mite as wel b horror movie scenes. and no, they may not necesarily mean dark places.

3. and this one is gona sonud evr so stupid and smal, but its going on this list. sum of u may understand, i would expect most of u 2 not. and that is...

..faling in love. agen.


much love <33

fvhm

"I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly"

now playing: fireflies - owl city

so

where was i last nite?

i fel aslp at 9 ok

i was jus tired so i went 2 lie down

but i left itunes on

and i fel aslp 2 my musiq.

and i woke up at 7am.

thats y my msn was on online the whole nite.


but ive been faling aslp very early these days.

not a bad thing i gues, smtimes.

and my boss told me 2 work 2day, but i foudn out i wasnt.
if she told earlier that i wasnt, then i woulda told evry1 that city could b 2day @_@"

garh. perfect weather 2.

it was raining this morning btw.

wondr how many of u were awake at that time.

and i left my jaket at work.

my mooks one.

my ONLY mooks one.

also the only piece of clothing i hav from mooks.

arugh @_@"

o wel.

im exhausted neway ._.

yesters, this lady came in wid her husband/bf. lets say husband, they looked kinda old enuf.

and she came up 2 the counter holding one of the shoes from the store
and she asked "how much?"
me: "$35"
she and her husband talk 2gether 4 a few seconds, and she hands the shoe 2 me and says "yea"

now, she handed that shoe 2 me. i had suposed that she wanted it bak on the racks since she jus said "yea" and gave it 2 me.

and so i said "ok, not a problem" and put it on the racks.
on my way bak 2 the counter, she says " i want 2 buy it",

now wat the crap, u could say that 2 me insteada jus "yea"

..

me: oh ok *smile smile* .. would u like 2 try it on?
her: i alredy tried it *starting 2 get angry*
me: oh ok.

so i make my way 2 the shoes and look 4 the boxed pair.

then she folows me, and wen i pik up the rite box, she says a jumble of non-english consisting of the words "box" "bag" and "shoes".

me: ....
..... uhm, u want the shoes in the box?
her: yea.... nono! i- *jumble of words*
me: u would like the shoes in the box? O_O" ...
her: *heavy sighs and anger boiling* *grabs hold of the box* i dont want the box, in bag is ok.
me: oh ok *smile smile* not a problem. (far out, shes sucha bich)

so i make my way bak 2 the counter and start 2 put the shoes in a bag, her husband pays and i giv him the reciept and bag.

then i was like: finaly, shes gone ._.


AND THEN!
2 MY HORROR!

she cals me from the othr side of the shop "excuse me can u come here?"

she was polite this time and so i said: "yes?"

her: can i c that one *poitns in2 one of the glass stands*

i take out a set of earings and i hand it 2 her.

they were the longest pair of earings i hav evr seen, and i, myself, had no idea how 2 wear them. they werent necesarily ugly thoe.

her: hwo much?
me: $15. 2 for $25.

her: wil u giv it 2 me for $10?

me: (get lost) no sry, i cant do that *smile smile*

then she doesnt even reply and jus hands me bak the earings and leaves.

that was the worst customer i had yesters ._.

good she bought sumtin thoe, althoe she didnt pay 4 it.

there was a disabled lady who tried on about 5 dreses and didnt buy nething.

she was nice thoe, polite 2 the core.

hmm. and i had finished learning (althoe not perfected) the song down on piano (CHYEAH BABY!)

baby r u down down down down down~

so if u request or would like 2 hear/c me play in rl/utube one of the folowing songs, say so :

1. u belong wid me - taylor swift
2. tik tok - kesha
3. fireflies - owl city
4. replay - iyaz

and jus coz i havent heard iyaz-replay bing played evrywhere, il put the song here:

Iyaz- replay

xP


OHH!
and yesters!

me and alice coulda SWORN that bottle pop was played in the shop acroes from us on replay 4 the whole day.

they had rly nice dreses thoe. but 2 m uch 4 me 2 afford =X

$40 +

god. so nice TT

and:

dear alice,

I DO NOT HAV 2 MANY DRESES

the end.


i wondr y i rote "the end" insteada "from lena" wen i started the thing wid "dear alice"

"And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery"

now playing: gallery - mario

i wish i could sing.

mom said i should take musiq lessons this holis wen skool was ending.

she said "il pay 4 u 2 learn guitar or piano. "

she basicaly said "get off ur ass in front of the comp"

BUT ..all notes on the guitar sound the same 2 me and its not like i rly need 2 noe much more 2 play ne song i like on the piano
...she jus wanted me 2 get the grade 8 and walk out.

jus coz i play, doesnt mean i can play the entertainer or turkish march on the spot.
neithr am i doing it 4 a grade 8 ._.

ive nevr had a grade in piano, i jus play 2 my own liking.

and if she rly wanted that, theres also a grade 9 and 10. 4 like, the beethoven masters or sumtin kinda ppl.

and obviously she wasnt gona pay 4 me.

and i h8 musiq lesons. h8 em h8 em. il nevr recomend them.

but she got me tosing between get a job, or learn 2 sing.

and as u can c, i chose 2 geta job, coz lenas nevr gona b able 2 sing. =="

and im glad. coz ive got money now. xD

OH YEA

ALICE

WE HAV 2 SINGSTAR AT UR PLACE. DAMIT.

oh and guitar heroes boring.
unles u hav band hero and u play the drums.

but singings the most fun.

its jus fun.

and

hapy bday wendy!

and new yr is tmrow

this is the final post for 2009 =)

much love <33


Monday, December 28, 2009

a

so 2day i went 2 junction


was fun

but the train ride was jus ZZzzz...


1 hr 30 min train ride.

and anna got on at cabra station

so after we left cabra station, we went thru the whoel train looking 4 anna.

and it was those tin can trains, so wen u traveled between carriages, u were like fuly exposed 2 the speed of the train, the excess RAIN on the roof of the train and all the mould and yuk in those sections of the train since no1 rly lieks 2 walk those places in the 1st place.

we went thru the whole train!

and we didnt find anna!


god noes wat hapen ._.


nehoo , we found each othr on central station and we caught the train 2 bondij unciton.

there, we spent a good 4-5 hrs of shoping.

strangely enuf, i barely bought nething.

im usualy the one that buys al the clothes and spends al my money

but anna and mel r more of the, uh, branded clothes ppl.

so i walked in the stores wid them, no biggie, u noe.

but i didnt buy nething.

in stores like

country road, espirit, even londsdale... evrything looks. the. SAME. ._.

i understand that ppl look 4 quality and all, but i thought i was normal. and im standing around these shops wondering if it evr crosed the designers mind if they liked their own designs.

i noe i noe, u buy it 4 the quality.
but its sooooo boring @_@"


i dun get it!


how do these shops even make money wid such boring designs.
its jsu the same white (sumtimes purple pink or green) shirt/singlet wid diff ways of advertising their brand.

im sure many ppl taht u noe own like 20 PLAIN white branded t shirts wid jus the brand name riten acros the chest.

evry branded piece of clothing i own was a gift.
and im not lieing.

and yes mel and anna, i actualy liked that mooks shirt. ive nevr seen nething like it.

its the one design wid the letters falling evrywhere and 5 were coloured in, speling mooks.

thats awesum.

i want one saying lena

cept i dun wana go around advertising my name.

so proly sumtin more vague like cookie or peanut.


an i tel u wat i bought 2day?

1. anothr dres. it was so prety, i had 2. cept the smalest was size 8. but it was $23! so cheap! and so prety! so i bought it. xD
2. earings $5 for 6 pairs!


and thats it 0.0"

xcluding train tiket, food.

fun day thoe

and

VIBE DISAPEARED TT

i loved taht place TT


and if sum1 goes junction and comes home and tels me they saw vibe...

il b prety pist ._.



neeeeeeeeeeways, that was my day,

so 2day i come home like ive jus came home from 1 wk of bing on the show survivor,

and i read alices blog

this was so funy:


i was jus like lol lol lol


and i ended up reading more

here is the list of my favs:






lmao.



"that nothing is ever too much,
you want the world.
but to me, it's not even enough.
i would give you my heaven
in exchange for your love"

now playing: nothing - fdn

much love <33




Sunday, December 27, 2009

df

ok, on this post,

im gona make sumtin tahts

REALLY BIG

seem

really small


so!

heres the

really small :



and the

really big:

is wen u clik on taht link.

heres the link agen if blinked or went blind 4 a few seconds or watevr.



it is

the best story

i hav evr read

(after hary poter)

im sry, all word stories r jus a whole loada words but i swear

this story was jus interesting over and over agen, scene after scene.

line after line, u jus hav 2 kp reading!!

(i put 2 xclaimation marks!)


alice gave me this so i looked at it

and since its jsu words, i read them

and kp reading and kp reading...


JUST READ IT
OK


ITS THE BEST STORY



much love <33