heres a post 2 the guest in my shoutbox

i havent posted 4 a wile, long wile, and then 1ce i post, theres a coment alredy.

So here's a post in proper English for you.

I have no idea who you are, nor do I care.

But I'll apologise first for the previous wth post.

I decided to post here because I really thought no-one would come here anymore, it's really not one wants to read on a blog. =X

So I'll try to keep my posts neater and post about more amusing things from now.

Also, just as a note, if I manage to upload a picture from my phone, it's a painting that I'm doing for my art major and it's not finished.

hm

Nothing more to say, so here's some favourite songs from my playlist right now to finish this post off:

1. New Boyz - Better With The Lights Off

2. Stan Walker - Choose You (Israel Remix)

3. Shontelle - Say Hello To Goodbye

4. Eric Bellringer - Dream Love

5. Eminem - Lighters (feat. Bruno Mars)

hi every1!

lena doesnt feel 2 good rite now and doesnt giv who reads this, nor do i care wat the crap u want 2 say about it.

its that dreadful day of the wk caled wednes and i jus w8d like 15 mins in the furious wind and cold 4 u 2 pik me up. even the skool buses were faster than u, b glad i even w8d.

u took al my money last nite, and m hapy 2 giv it 2 u coz its not even 4 urself. u spent more than al the money i jus gave u, and wat? that money came outa thin air , ay?

where in the world did u manage 2 pul out anothr xtra hundreds of dolars after u drain evry cent from me?

even up 2 this point, i was hapy 2 b siting nxt 2 u in a car.

but hey, who said nething was enuf 4u.

even a lil sumtin that i buy 4 myself is money wasted 2u. coz wat? i didnt giv u the money so u can spend it on urself? coz i should nevr own a single material item cept the book i stik my face in 2 study?

u take al my youth alowance, nevr evr paid me bak 4 nething, i even work 4 my own money and GAVE it al 2 u hapily and then even wat god ofers wil nevr b enuf in u and ur greed.

im in my hsc terms, i work part time job and i STIL go 2 that church that uve torn me apart 2 make me atend 4 the past 7 solid deadly yrs. do u even noe how torturous that place is, do u noe how much i long 2 live and c that place burn down 2 its own ashes?

and 4 at least 5 yrs, i nevr spoke a thing.

i wil nevr study enuf 4 u 2 shut up, i wil nevr b rich enuf 4 u 2 shut up, i wil nevr evr b able 2 achieve nething good enuf 4 u 2 shutup, and this is y i dun try nemore.

this is y i nevr try and stay longer than 10 mins at teh diner table, even if i havent eaten a single bite, coz this is ur grande chance 2 tel the whole universe/friends about wat i nevr do enuf of,evrything u h8 about me and te things that u dun think il evr get, and then u get 2 pleasantly wach me sufer silently as i leave and starve after 2 meals a day, in my rm, not bing able 2 say a single thing bak 2 ur ugly face. u mite as wel b swearing at the top of ur lungs and b burning me alive. at least ur sister lets me use the stove and feed myself.

and this is y i dun try 2 study. wel not all of it. i dun study wat i cant do, coz its simple.

im 17.

and i cant do it.

ur much older.

and u cant even shut up.

mite as wel do wat i actualy can. and gues wat, u ignorant bastard? its art. its not studying from a txt book, its not puting myself thru that xcrui8ing proces of becoming a sucesful doctor or lawyer, its not even sumtin u can brag abotu 2 ur friends. its not sumtin that wil get no judgement from ne1 - i dun care wat ppl think about my future dream bing art, i jus noe u do.

and thru this al, i nevr complain. i am hapy going thru hsc not toping evry single clas, ok? and i wil nevr sufer a single day coz i like it here.

1ce was my bigest fear. fear was al i felt coz i didnt noe wat i was doing rong, no matr how hard i tried 2 understand. but i noe u now, and this time ur xcrui8ing. im not scared, im angry. i noe wat ur after now, and u wil nevr take that away. ur hapy and try 2 cook me sumtin nice, but then wen i sit down 2 eat it, u scream al in my face and ur life becomes so meaningles in my world.

let me list evrything that would make me perfect 2 u, jus 2 emphasise ur unbelievable love 2wards my dread:

• own the folowing outfits only: 1 sumer, 1 winter, unifrm.
• own only 2 pairs of shoes: casual and skool.
• hav a bland empty rm wid only books that i study from
• nevr complain, even wen ur swearing at the top of ur lungs and trying 2 take more from me than i alredy am.
• tel evry 1 of ur friends my dream is a doctor and im coming 1st in evry subject
• nevr hav friends that laugh, wear hi heels, or r boys.
• nevr feel ne sort of emotion - nevr hapy wen i come 2nd in a exam, jus coz i didnt come 1st. nevr sad coz m supose take al the friken dumb crap from u and not say nething bak.
• obey evry bilion of the stupidest demands u giv me, and then let u scream at me wile m trying coz there (jus so friken hapens) that there r anothr bilion things u h8 about me that u love throwing in2 my face.
• nevr spend ne sort of money on myself unles its a bus fare
• nevr spend ne money on ne1 else (xcept 4 u, of course) coz its wasting money.
• and worst of al, pretend that none of my anger exists wen my dad is around coz u want him 2 think evrythings fine.

ur ignorance stil amazes me.